I’m a huge fan of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels, and so, when “Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook” was published in 1999 I squealed and jumped around madly. Nanny Ogg is simply wonderful. I want to be just like her when I grow up; sitting around watching my daughters-in-law doing all the housework, making endless double entendres out of anything, drinking scumble (mostly made from apples) and singing very ribald songs.

Nanny Ogg has (with some small assistance from Messrs Pratchett, Briggs, Kidby, and Ms Hannan) produced a lovely cookbook in the grand tradition of Mrs Beeton. Following some select recipes (including Dwarf Cookery – not cooking actual dwarves, I hasten to add), there is a substantial discourse upon ettiquette. Essential reading for all; in particular, the love letters section contains some very sage advice. Alas, it lacks any advice on housework. I’ll just have to ensure that future daughters-in-law are particularly talented in that area.

Despite owning this marvellous tome since it’s publication day, I’ve only cooked one recipe (until today of course; now it’s two [proving that I can indeed count]): Sergeant Angua’s Vegetable Stew with Dumplings. I remember this as being excellent. And so it should be, afterall, a vegetarian werewolf who likes to cook, would (I imagine) spend hours in the kitchen tryin’ to make something tasty enough to tempt her wolf side away from humans….

Today’s Howondaland Curry was a real success. (For the uninitiated, Howondaland is vaguely Africa/south India when compared to Roundworld (i.e. Earth).) It looked like curry, it tasted like curry (with lots of coconut flavour) and I particularly liked the adjustable heat from reserving some chopped chillis and stirring them in at the end. We both had seconds, which was really rather greedy as it was supposed to serve four.

Enthused by this success, I’m now planning to make “Strawberry Wobbler” (guaranteed to raise a laugh), “Nanny Ogg’s Maids of Honour” (take your eyes off ‘em and they end up as tarts) and “Klatchian Delight”.

If you haven’t encountered PTerry’s books before, then I highly recommend them. Most folks say to start with “Small Gods”, but I reckon they’re best read from the beginning with “The Colour of Magic”. “Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook” should suit any cookbook lover with a good sense of humour or love of the kitsch.

Genuine Howondaland Curry

(Taken from the writings of Ponce da Quirm)

Ponce da Quirm spent his whole life exploring foreign parts, I heard, and maybe it was because people laughed at his name. Apparently he was looking for the Fountain of Youth, and the odd thing about this business is that it’s never, ever close to. You’d think, on average, that some of these lost fountains of youth, trees of life and cities of gold would be really close but they never are. And you never get people from a long way off coming to our part of the world lookin’ for, as it might be, the Cottage of Doom, or the Lost Chicken Shed.

Ponce brought back fourteen different kinds of plant and seven interestin’ sorts of animal to this part of the world, but he insisted very firmly that none of them were named after him. That’s how everyone remembers him.

This curry was one he made up durin’ a period where he was shipwrecked on an island that had nothing but great big fat chickeny-birds that couldn’t even fly. He did leave one though, so’s not to upset the balance of nature. Sometimes I reckon it would be better if there was a Fountain of Growing Up.

Serves 4

4 chicken breasts, skinned and cut into cubes
small pot natural yoghurt (150g)
1cm piece of ginger root, grated
6-8 garlic cloves, crushed
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
4 fresh green chillis, deseeded and finely chopped